| To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up. |
| An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks. |
| Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. |
| I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. |
| Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. |
| If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. |
| A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. |
| Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave When they think that their children are nave. |
| People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it. |
| A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. |
| People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. |
| Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long. |
