| Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. |
| I feel about airplaines the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on. |
| You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help. |
| Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck-if you survive you start looking very carefully to the right and left. |
| A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table. |
| Life with Mary was like being in a telephone booth with an open umbrella-no matter which way you turned, you got it in the eye. |
| Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent. |
| If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. |
| I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas |
| The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. |
| The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. |
