| I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. |
| When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. |
| My wife is a light eater ... as soon as it's light, she starts to eat. |
| If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning,....sleep late. |
| I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. |
| When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. |
| I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. |
| My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. |
