| The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice. |
| If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. |
| An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true. |
| Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. |
| There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 AM. It could be the right number. |
| If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. |
| If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. |
| The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. |
| A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. |
| The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. |
| Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enought to know they were impossible. |
| A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten. |
| More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. |
| Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. |
| Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. |
| The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. |
| Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. |
| If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. |
| What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living. |
