| f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng. |
| Optimization hinders evolution. |
| He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead. |
| If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about ... five minutes. |
| Power (n) The only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA. |
| Never assume, for it makes an ASS out of U and ME. |
| Don't steal. The government hates competition. |
| A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages. |
| Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. |
| Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. |
| BASIC - A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company. |
| Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. |
| Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though. |
| The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing. |
| I speak BASIC to clients, 1-2-3 to management, and mumble to myself. |
| Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything. |
| You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her. |
| COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key. |
| One thing you can't recycle is wasted time. |
| Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted. |
| That Jim Brown. He says he isn't Superman. What he really means is that Superman isn't Jimmy Brown |
| The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out... |
| The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. |
| A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune. |
| Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye. |
| Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying. |
| If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation... |
| All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. |
| Old programmers never die. They just can't C as well. |
| There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works. |
| Some authors should be paid by the quantity NOT written. |
| Necessity is the mother of invention. |
| Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad. |
| Philosophy is a study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently. |
| Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk |
| Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. |
| Original Poems for Infant Minds My MotherWho ran to help me when I fell,And would some pretty story tell,Or kiss the place to make it wellMy Mother. |
| Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it. |
| Old programmers never die. They just branch out to a new address. |
| Some people weave burlap into the fabric of our lives, and some weave gold thread. Both contribute to make the whole picture beautiful and unique. |
| The NeXT Computer The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe. |
| Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. |
| WARNING Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue. |
| Winners never quit and quitters never win. |
| There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. |
| Earth is 98 full. Please delete anyone you can. |
| Good, better, best never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best. |
| Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one (YN) |
| Sped up my XT ran it on 220v Works greO |
| Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable. |
| Intel has announced its next chip the Repentium. |
| We are told never to cross a bridge until we come to it, but this world is owned by men who have 'crossed bridges' in their imagination far ahead of the crowd. |
| Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. |
| The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money. |
| The best book on programming for the layman is Alice in Wonderland but that's because it's the best book on anything for layman. |
| Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up. |
| To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is research. |
| If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. |
| Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns. |
| No one is listening until you make a mistake. |
| The world is so fast that there are days when the person who says it can't be done is interrupted by the person who is doing it. |
| Hanlon's RazorNever attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. |
| Great minds think alike. |
| Real programmers don't write in PLI. PLI is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN. |
| Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice. |
| Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. |
| When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy. |
| Ama me fideliter Fidem meam noto De corde totaliter Et ex mente tota, Sum presentialiter Absens in remota. |
| The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going. |
| Ooops. My brain just hit a bad sector. |
| What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator. |
| If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were. |
| Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable. |
| Hit any user to continue. |
| An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing. |
| God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers |
| Old hackers never die. They just go to bitnet. |
| LSD melts your mind, not in your hand. |
| Silence is one great art of conversation. |
| A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it. |
| Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. |
| Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename' |
| CDOS CDOSRUN RUNDOSRUN |
| Want to make your computer go really fast Throw it out a window. |
| General Failure's Fault. Not Yours. |
| Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead. |
| A poet is someone who is astonished by everything. |
| Reality can be beaten with enough imagination. |
| To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. |
| Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy Shell to DOS... |
| Is my friend in the bunker or is the bastard on the green |
| Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg. |
| Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... |
| Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE |
| Bulls make money. Bears make money. Pigs get slaughtered. |
| The Internet is like a vault with a screen door on the back. I don't need jackhammers and atom bomb to get in when I can walk through the door. |
| Pascal keeps your hand tied. C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. |
| Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever. |
| Lat Love me faithfullySee how I am faithfulWith all my heartAnd all my soulI am with youThough I am far away. |
| Crime, like disease, is not interesting it is something to be done away with by general consent, and that is all about it. |
| Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am it's because they were up all night. |
| Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times. |
