| Pray To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. |
| Faith Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. |
| Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue. |
| Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum |
| Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. |
| In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office. |
| Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. |
| Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. |
| Calamities are of two kinds misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others. |
| Cabbage A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. |
| Brain an apparatus with which we think we think. |
| Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen. |
| Acquaintance, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. |
| To be positive To be mistaken at the top of one's voice. |
| There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know. |
| Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy. |
| Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. |
| The covers of this book are too far apart. |
| The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. |
| Painting The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. |
| Quotation, n The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. |
